When I Move With You
by HallowedNight
Summary: Something is wrong with Mikey's brothers, and he's determined to find out what it is, even if it changes the way he sees his brothers forever. - Mikey/Raph's POV - Mainly Mikey/Raph, suggested Leo/Raph - Contains turtlecest, if you don't like, don't read! - Rated for language, violence, drug use and non-explicit sexual situations.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, turtlecest. It's here. If you don't like, don't read. I report flamers.**

**Disclaimah! I don't own the turtles or anything having to do with them they belong to their respective owners. (I have no idea who those are. But it's not me.)**

**So I knooooow this probably isn't what people were expecting from me... But I've been kind of obsessed with TMNT recently, and I need a break from more serious writing. Mikey's POV is really easy for me.**

**I need a cover photo for this...I guess I'll get one eventually. **

**Anyway...here it is. I wrote and posted this on my phone, so please excuse any mistakes. c:**

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Chapter One

I don't pretend to know everything about everything; shell, if you ask my brothers I don't know anything about anything. But I know some things sometimes, and I knew something was going on with Leo and Raph. I could feel it. (I'm pretty awesome like that.)

When you live with the same four other peop- well, living organisms for your whole life, you get to know them pretty well. Extremely well, in fact. For example, I know that Hamato Raphael doesn't sit in his room supposedly alone for hours when there's a scary movie marathon on that he could be using to scare me. I'm well aware that Raph doesn't 'sit and think about life' (his excuse for making me watch all those movies by myself) in his spare time. And I know beyond any doubt that Hamato Leonardo, the Fearless Leader, does not just stumble and limp away from Raph's room with a guilty look plastered all over his face for no reason.

Anyway, all this knowing started awhile ago; a couple days, I guess; when I walked by Raph's room just minding my own business and heard...stuff. Noises mostly, all kind of dirty sounding. Not that I would really know what that's supposed to sound like, but mutant turtles tend not to pant, grunt and moan unless they're training really hard (or they're fighting over something). I'll admit that leaning up against the door to hear better probably wasn't one of my best plans, but oh well; hindsight's 20/20, as Master Splinter says. It would have been just fine and dandy if Raph hadn't gone and opened the door. I was about to leave anyway, I had pizza to eat and video games to play. But he chose that particular inconvenient second to open the door, and I ended up in his lap on the floor. (Did you know doors in the sewers open inwards? I never noticed.)

I've smelled Raph at some pretty bad times, like right after one of Leo's infamous 'all-day, all-out' training sessions, but he reeked at that moment. It was awful, truly. He was all slippery and sweaty, which was also nasty, and looked extremely pissed about me being there. Like...I'm lucky I escaped with my life, especially after seeing Leo's face, which was just as mad. And Leo usually keeps his cool, so I was pretty sure I was gonna die.

I didn't understand at the time why they were so angry. It's not like I did anything bad, right? Wrong! I guess I get it now; after I thought about what I had been hearing and it finally clicked what they had been up to, I would probably have been pretty mad too if I was in their situation. I wouldn't have used some of the words Raph did though.

I ended up in my room eventually; I had to run around the sewers for like an hour trying to put some distance between us. Hey, at least I didn't get beaten up, even if I did look (and sound) quite a bit like a chicken running away from a sheepdog or something. I barred the door, of course. You never know when Raph'll just barge in and decide to give you a noogie or punch you in the face. It was late, so I would have usually just gone to bed, but I was really shaken and kind of hyped up on adrenaline.

It was about that time that I pieced the situation together. I guess I should have been more freaked out, thinking about my two brothers 'gettin' it on' (man, that sounds weird), but I was pretty okay with it, sort of. I mean, we are teenagers, we have those urges, and it's not like we have anyone else. Giant mutant turtles? Yeah, not really a trait the ladies (or dudes) look for in a partner. But on the other hand, we are brothers...probably not genetically, but close enough. I may not know much about human relationships or whatever, but I'm fairly sure two brothers aren't a normal couple.

If they even were a couple, which I kind of doubted. I just can't imagine that; they fight way too much, and Raph is always whining about Leo being all superior and whatnot. I didn't want us to start pairing off anyway, 'cause if Leo and Raph went public then I'd be left with Donnie... Don't get me wrong, Don is awesome and smart and everything, but I don't think we'd work...and he's completely obsessed with April anyway.

Well, I can only laze around and do nothing for so long after something like that, so I figured that I might as well risk heading out for a midnight snack. Leo would definitely be asleep; he was usually out cold by nine or ten, and it was almost two in the morning then, but Raph sometimes stayed up watching TV or doing...other things that he did. I couldn't hear the TV and all the lights were off when I went out to the kitchen, but I was quiet anyway. To tell the truth, I was actually a little jumpy, even when I was sitting at the table with my pizza. Everything was fine though; at least, until I got up to go back to bed.

I nearly died when I heard Raph's voice, I really did. I don't even remember what he said I was so scared. I tried to run back to my room, but he grabbed me and probably threatened me and chucked me back into my room eventually.

To be honest, I don't think I've ever seen Raph that mad. His voice was really quiet, and he didn't even punch me or anything. Just said his bit, keep my mouth shut, blahblah, and threw me back in my room.

Pretty strange, huh? Yeah, I thought so too. So I started watchin' those two really, really closely. Like...it's actually a little creepy now that I think about it, but that's okay, 'cause it worked. (And everyone knows stalking is only creepy when it doesn't work.)

But anyway, I was gonna go sabotage- I mean do some training in the dojo, and I heard talking. Angry talking. So I sat and listened for awhile. It was obviously Raph and Leo; I could barely tell what one was saying, and the other one was practically shouting the whole time. They were basically having an argument about me, I think. I didn't hear a lot, 'cause I had to run away when Leo stormed out, but I'm pretty sure it had something to do with what I had heard the other night. And listening to the argument, it sounded like Raph actually wanted it to stop, which...usually isn't Raph's thing. Leo was the one instigating stuff...apparently.

Needless to say, I was floored. This is Leo we're talking about! He's probably the most responsible and trustworthy and all-around good guy I know. It makes no sense why he would want to do...that kind of thing. And with Raph? Crazy stuff...

So now I'm basically confused and clueless (yeah, more than usual). I can't talk to either of them, because I'll get beaten up... Why would Leo wanna do the nasty with Raph? Why is Raph the one who doesn't? And where the shell do I fit in in all of this?

I'm usually not that great at answering questions, but this is nothing a little Mikey ingenuity won't solve!

(Keheheh...)

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**Well, it's started. This little project is basically just to give myself a break, and Mikey is just so cute. I hope you like my rendition of him~**

**I wasn't gonna post this in the first place... Turtlecest is kinda my guilty pleasure.**

**Anyway, please follow and review, and I hope you're enjoying it so far~**


	2. Chapter 2

**I like writing this. It's easy. o3o**

**Thanks so much to everyone who favorited and reviewed and stuff! I'll respond to the reviews a the bottom of this chapter. C:**

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Chapter Two

Man, do I hate waking up in the middle of the night. I mean, I know sewers are dark all the time, but at four in the morning it's pitch black, like can't see your hand in front of your face. Thankfully, I have a lava lamp in my room that keeps it pretty light. I wouldn't get rid of that thing for the world, even though Raph makes fun of me sometimes. It's just one more little thing on his list.

I know the dark is supposed to be a ninja's friend or whatever, but I hate it. Not with a burning passion or anything, just enough that I usually refuse to leave my room in the morning until someone else has already gotten up and turned on the lights. Unless it's an emergency, like if I can't sleep or I'm hungry or I need to use the bathroom really badly. (Master Splinter wouldn't let me hire some dudes to put a bathroom right next to my room.)

Anyway, it was four o'clock when I woke up, and I knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep. Ever since I started stalk- err, investigating Leo and Raph I had been having really weird dreams. Most of them were about Raph, just kind of doing his thing; shouting, fighting, slapping, noogie-ing...you know, the usual. But this one was different. It's sort of embarrassing to talk about, but basically I walked into a random room and Raph and Leo were in there...let's say enjoying each other's company. I was all horrified, like, "What the shell is going on?" But I couldn't move or anything. They started laughing at me eventually, and it sounded really mean... I was all sweaty when I woke up, and I felt weird. Almost...jealous. Almost.

Anyway, like I said, I don't like the dark, but I couldn't just lay there after that. So I got up and opened my door, still kind of debating what I should do. I didn't feel like watching TV and I wasn't hungry; I actually had a bit of a stomachache.

Well, video games always calm me down, so I settled on that and walked- tiptoed, really- out to the living-room thing and flicked on a lamp before choosing my game. I didn't really care much what I played, 'cause I was just trying to calm down and I was having trouble deciding. I didn't have anyone to play against, and most of our games were multiplayer or were better with more than one player; there are four of us, after all. I eventually just sat down and stared at the TV, kind of hoping it would turn itself on and chuck a controller at me.

"Kinda late to be hangin' out here, dontcha think?"

I froze when I heard the voice; it was Raph and he was right behind me. I looked around at him and laughed; I think I sounded a little guilty.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep."

"Aww, poor baby bro. Have a bad dream?" I knew he was being sarcastic, but I hitched on my patented 'little brother puppy eyes' and nodded. Raph started to look kind of uncomfortable; he wasn't used to dealing with my dreams or anything. I usually went to Leo or Donnie, even Master Splinter sometimes.

"Err, well..." I scooted over as he jumped over the back of the couch and landed beside me. I could tell he didn't know what to do, so I grinned and punched at his arm.

"What's the matter Raphie? Rat got your tongue?" I cackled my best evil cackle when he jumped on me, but it didn't last long; Raphael has a wicked chokehold.

He let me go quickly, mostly because I was flailing around and kicking him all over, but he kept leaning over me, his face just a few inches away from mine. I swallowed; I was getting kind of hot all of a sudden, and Raph looked...mad, yeah, but also...I don't even know.

"Don't call me Raphie." His voice was more like a hiss, and his eyes looked like they were on fire; had they always been so green? I gulped again. I probably looked terrified, and I guess Raph noticed, 'cause he got off of me and and leaned against the arm of the couch, looking really cocky. I almost jumped on him again, but I felt like I would probably end up getting my butt whipped, so I settled on blowing a raspberry at him.

"You like it. Don't kid yourself." I was pretty sure he didn't care that much, but I didn't risk calling him Raphie again. I thought it was a cute name.

Wait, what? Whoa, Raph definitely does not equal cute. Where the heck did that come from?

"-staying up then?"

I shook my head and stared at Raph for a second; I wasn't really paying attention and completely missed what he said.

"Whadya say?"

Raph scowled and crossed his arms. I smiled; apparently I looked happy or stupid or something, 'cause he rolled his eyes.

"I said are ya just staying up then? If ya aren't goin' back to bed."

I tilted my head and stroked my chin for a second, just because I knew it irritated him. I had already made up mind; I knew I wouldn't be able to get back to sleep, and Leo would be up in a couple hours anyway.

"Yeah, there's a marathon thing on I wanna watch." I'm not sure why I lied, it's not like Raph cares if I was gonna stay up. I guess Raph can read minds, 'cause he stood up a second later and and started walking back down to his room. I mean, I knew it wasn't really his problem whether I stayed up or not, but a little...something would have been nice.

"Well, have fun with that." I nodded, even though I knew he couldn't see me, and looked back at the TV, still wishing it would turn on by itself. "And...Mikey?" I turned a bit so I could see him. "If ya need anything, I'm here, 'kay?"

I tried to be serious, but I couldn't help grinning. I covered my mouth and nodded again.

"Yeah... I got it Raph."

"Hmph. Good." He turned around again and kept walking. "You're such a pain, baby brother." I just laughed and watched him till I heard his door close.

I thought about turning the TV on or getting food, doing anything, but I couldn't stop thinking about Raph. Now that I thought about it, he'd been acting weird recently. Kind of...out of it, almost. I don't think anyone else noticed anything out of the ordinary, 'cause we usually talk about stuff like that, or Raph starts a fight about it. And he'd been nicer, I think. At least to me.

I kept sitting and kept thinking, which I don't do very often, but my brain was stuck on Raphael. We're complete opposites; he's all stuffy and serious and angry all the time, and me...well, I'm just me. Happy, funny, awesome, super-cool, you know. I've always liked hanging out with him though, even if I did get hit a lot. Leo and Donnie are great, don't get me wrong, but they don't really let loose enough. Raph always got really into our games, but Don and Leo would always over-think everything and weren't really fun. Raph had...drive, fire...passion.

...Okay, startin' to sound a little weird there...but I can't help it! I don't think...I don't think I see Raph the same way I see my other brothers. He never really felt like a brother to me, to be honest. I always said I loved him, just like with Don and Leo, even though they were more like brothers than him. It's not like I was lying, after all. I did love him, and-

Oh god.

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**I hope it's not too hard to follow; it is Mikey's thoughts, so it's a little sporadic. **

**Time to respond to comments!**

**The-Homunculi-Twins**- Thanks! I'm glad you like it~ I hadn't thought about adding some Leo/don in here, but now that I think about it it would probably work really well with the storyline I'm developing. It would probably be in a spinoff or something if I do it.

**raph'sgirl4ever**- Thanks! I hope you enjoy this update!

**Diamond Reflex**- I'm really glad you think I'm doing a good job! I don't write much first person, so it's nice to hear that it sounds good to ears other than mine.

**Thanks to the anonymous reviewers as well! I hope everyone liked this chapter, and please leave more reviews. I liiiive on them. They're my pizza. o3o**


	3. Chapter 3

**Next chaptah. I've decided I don't wanna throw off my word count too much, so I'm gonna start responding to reviews with PMs. So thanks to everyone that has reviewed so far!**

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Chapter Three

This is why I don't like being all introspective or whatever. I find out stuff that I'd rather just leave alone. Like...liking that crazy hothead Raph. I mean, of all turtles! Bleck, I don't even wanna think about it. Let's just say I'm not the best at figuring stuff like that out. I usually just go with the flow...ya know?

Anyway, I kept sitting there on the couch trying not to think about it until Leo got up around six. I heard him in the kitchen making tea, but I didn't say anything. I knew he'd find me eventually. In the meantime, I was thinking about whether or not to talk to him about what was going on between me and Raph and him and...lots of us. I guess when one or two of us bros gets in a situation, it generally affects all four of us.

I figured that Leo wouldn't be the best guy to talk to, considering he was sleeping with Raph and all (still sounds weird), so I snuck down to Donnie's room. I was pretty sure he wasn't still asleep, and I really needed to talk to someone. I'm open with my feelings and stuff, even if I'm not sure when they mean all the time, and I don't like when things get all built up inside you. Then you have outbursts like Raph, and no one likes those.

"Hey Don. Hey Don. Donnie. Don, hey. Hey D-"

"Gah! Mike, don't- Whadya want?!"

I smiled when I heard Donnie's voice and let myself into his room.

"Hey bro, I need ta talk to- What're you up to?" I crossed my arms and threw a mock-suspicious look in Donnie's direction. He was typing on his laptop at about a million miles an hour, and looked reeeally guilty about something.

"I- Err, nothing, Mikey. What did you say you needed?" He slapped the computer shut and looked up at me, grinning kind of stupidly. I ignored it though, 'cause what other people do in their spare time isn't my business. (Stalking Leo and Raph doesn't count.)

"I need to talk to you about something. I think it's serious." Apparently I looked concerned, 'cause Don stood up and patted my shoulder before waving his hand at his bed. I flopped down and got comfortable while he got on his 'big-brother-councilor-Donnie' face that he uses when he listens to our problems or tries to fix an argument.

"Well... Let's say hypothetically that I was just walkin' around one day and I kinda walked in on something I wasn't supposed to and I figured something out and now I don't know what to do." I smiled.

Donnie stared at me blankly for a second. I guess he was pretty confused, but I wasn't really sure what else to say.

"Umm...okay... Can you...elaborate, perhaps?" He waved his hands around a bit, like he was trying to get me to understand. People do that a lot when they're talking to me; it's kind of annoying. I'm not that stupid. I took a deep breath and pulled Donnie's pillow up over my face. I knew he could still understand me though.

"Alright. I walked in on Leo and Raph doin'...stuff the other day. And I think it's been going on a lot, 'cause Raph wants it to stop but Leo doesn't." Donnie started looking really uncomfortable all of a sudden, but I ignored it and kept talking. I was on a roll, and I don't think I could've kept going if I stopped. "And I've been watching them real closely and stuff, but then I started having weird dreams and I think I'm in love with Raphie." I sucked my lips into my mouth and stared up at Don. He kind of looked like he was gonna puke, or his butt was on fire or something.

"Uhh...Mikey..." He sat down beside me, and I started getting a little nervous. Don sure looked sick. "You- You know how training and everything get's really stressful after awhile?" I nodded, even though I never really got stressed. I just wanted him to keep talking. "Well, what you saw Leo and Raph doing is their- a way to calm down and relax after that stress."

"So sex rela-" He slapped his hand over my mouth and wouldn't let go till I licked his hand.

"Don't say that Mikey!"

"Why not? It's not like it's a bad word or anything. Sex sex sex-" I shut up when he smacked me over the head with his bo. I swear, he can pull that thing outta nowhere.

"Anyway!" Donnie stood up and started pacing around his room with his hands behind his shell like he does when he's thinking about something really hard. "So, you think you're in love with Raph... You haven't gone crazy? You know we're all brothers, right?"

"Well, yeah we're brothers, but Leo and Raph were-"

"Yes, yes! We all know what they were doing!"

I was starting to get the feeling Donnie didn't like talking about sex. I don't really like to either, I guess, though it doesn't come up that often. Master Splinter apparently doesn't think it's an issue.

"Anyway," (Don said that a lot), "why would you think you're in love with him? As opposed to just loving him like a brother?"

I had to think about this one for a sec. To be honest, I didn't really know. It was just a feeling, really, and I'm not good at sorting those feeling things out. So I just said what popped into my head.

"Well, I don't think I would sleep with you or Leo. I would with Raph." My smile kind of disappeared at that point. I'm not serious very often, but I felt like that was a pretty serious statement. "And...I dunno. I can feel it in my bones, ya know?"

Donnie shook his head, but smiled too.

"No, I don't know. I never know with you, Mikey. But if you really believe that, I think you should be talking to him, not me."

I was picking something out of my ear when he said that, so I was pretty sure I heard it wrong.

"What?" I stared at him.

"I said go for it. Raph could use someone like you to get him to loosen up, even if we are brothers."

I grinned and jumped up when he said that. It was exciting to know that at least one of my brothers didn't think I was a freak. For this, a least.

"Alright! I'm gonna go right-" I really was gonna go right then, but Don grabbed my arm and yanked me back into the room.

"Don't be stupid Mikey!" I gave him a 'you-know-I'm-always-stupid' look and he shrugged. "It'll probably be okay with Raph if he was doing stuff with Leo, but none of us can be sure how Sensei will take this. So be careful, okay?"

I looked around for a second, then nodded.

"Duh! I'll be super-" I got a little quieter, "-super, suuuper stealthy." I threw a wink in Donnie's direction and ran off to find Raph.

For better or worse, I was gonna do some stuff with Raph! Talking about feelings, that is.

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**This is soooo eaaaaaasy. I loooooove it. **

**Anyway, I hope you guys are enjoying it and please follow, favorite and review! Thanks so much!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Let it be known that I strongly dislike the way this chapter turned out. It's done though, and I think it's funny. **

**Thanks for the awesome reviews guys~ I respond to the ones i can with PMs. C: **

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Chapter Four

I was about halfway to the dojo; I was pretty sure Raph would be there; when I realized that I really had no idea what I was gonna say to him. It was great in theory, just walking up and saying I loved him, but... Eh, I guess I was just a little nervous. I obviously didn't have any experience with that kind of thing, so I hoped that things would just spill out and make sense.

The dojo was quiet when I walked in, but I had a feeling that someone was there. Ninja senses, you know.

"Raph? You in here?" I walked around a bit, but still didn't see anyone. It was kind of confusing; there really aren't that many places to hide in a dojo, especially ours.

"You lookin' for me?"

I nearly jumped outta my shell when I heard Raph's voice. He's a lot stealthier than me, I guess. I turned around and got ready to talk, but...he kinda kissed me.

I've been surprised many, many, maaaany times in my life, but I don't think I've ever been so...well, surprised. I don't know what he expected me to do, so I freaked out and sort of slapped him just a bit... He looked dazed for a minute or two, but snapped out of it quickly and crossed his arms.

"What the heck, Raph?" I don't think I sounded angry or anything, but he started to get defensive. I knew that look; I see it all the time when he and Leo get in arguments and Leo gets a one up on him. I widened my eyes a little, 'cause I knew it would make me look more innocent. Raph just crossed his arms and leaned back a little.

"You haven't told anyone about the other night, have you?" He was doing that growly voice again, so I started to back up. Raph's growly voice is definitely not something to mess with.

"Urm...no...of course not, Raphie..." I giggled, but shut up pretty quickly when Raph's eyes narrowed.

"Don't lie to me Mikey." He put his arm up over my shoulder and leaned against the wall, that...I didn't notice was there. Backed up against a wall by Raphael when his eyes were all dark like that probably wasn't the best place to be, but-

Wait a second, what? He just kissed me. _Raph_ just _kissed_ me. Could he have heard what I said to Donnie...?

"Mikey!" He snapped his fingers in front of my face and I looked up at his face. Yeah, bad idea... My mind got all scrambled (worse than usual), so I just kinda stood there. I mean, what would you do? It's a weird situation!

"I heard you talkin' to Don." Well, great. There goes that then. He bent down a bit to whisper in my ear. "I don't like tattletales, Michelangelo." I shivered a little bit; I couldn't help it, just the way he said my name... I think I was blushing, and it probably got worse when he put his finger under my chin and basically forced me to look at him.

I had had about enough at that point. I stuck my hand up between our bodies; I just noticed how close we were; and kind of pointed at him or something, I dunno. It was awkward.

"I was- When I was talking to- Well, you know-" I knew I was babbling like an idiot, and apparently he did too, 'cause he was rolling his eyes the whole time. At least, until he kissed me again.

Now, I'm a really mellow person usually, but I was getting a little irritated. So I took a chance and pushed him away from me enough to slip under his arms.

"Raph, what're are you doing? C'mon bro!" I made sure I kept plenty of distance when he turned around, but he looked...well, really not like Raph. Almost...sorry? Nah, that couldn't be right.

"Didn't ya say to Don that you loooved me or somethin'?" He put a hand on his hip and raised an eyebrow at me. (That looked a lot more like Raph.) I felt bad now. Maybe he just didn't know how this was supposed to go.

"Well, yeah...I did..." So I think I had a derp moment there. My brain was fried completely. He wasn't having any of it though.

"Well, whadya want me to do then? How the hell am I supposed to know, should I read your mind?" His hands balled into fists and I flinched. I just admitted I liked the guy, I'm pretty sure he wasn't supposed to hit me.

"I... Raph... I'm sorry...?" Saying I was confused would be an understatement. I think Raph finally got the message, 'cause his hands relaxed and he sighed.

"'M sorry, Mikey." I smiled; yeah, my moods change a lot, but it's kind of adorable when he gets all pouty. He looked away from me and crossed his arms again.

"It's okay, I know you're just a hothead that doesn't know how to act around someone as awesome as me." I grinned, but he jumped on me and gave me a noogie till I squealed.

"I'm not a hothead! And you're the one havin' mood swings, ya little freak."

We kinda laid there for awhile. I don't know if it was supposed to be a loving moment or whatever; maybe neither of us knew what to say. I had to end the silence.

"So...what's gonna happen now?" I looked up at Raph, but he just kept staring at the ceiling.

"Nothing. This didn't happen."

"What?" I jumped up. "You're just- So we're ignoring this?"

He nooded, then stood up and walked to the door without even looking back. "See ya later, baby brother."

If I had been confused before, my brain had just exploded and would probably start dripping out my ears in just a second. What the heck just happened? Nothing had been worked out at all. So he knew I liked him...but he did nothing about it, we're going to forget we kissed...

My mind just kept running around in circles, but it always landed on the same conclusion; Raph was using me, or was going to eventually. I made me a little sick to think that the guy I had just confessed feelings for might be leading me on...

I was starting to get a headache, so I curled up on the floor and started trying to empty my mind. (I'm really good at that.) It was time for a good long nap...for once, Mikey the Magnificent was completely out of energy.

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**Seems like Raph's going a little cuckoo...I wonder why... The next chapter might be from his POV. Might. **

**A little warning; things ****_might_**** get a little darker in the next chapter or two. Might. **

**Thanks again for all the reviews guys, keep 'em coming!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Next chapter, yaaay. This one is kinda darker, guys, and it's probably not gonna get much better from here. **

**Also, I'm renaming this story to When I Move With You, because of where it's gonna go later. **

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Chapter Five

I can normally sleep anywhere, especially when I have a headache, but it apparently wasn't gonna happen that particular morning. I just couldn't stop thinking about Raph... So I decided to go find him. The worst he could do was beat me up, and I've dealt with plenty of that. Finding out what was going with everyone was more important.

I started getting a little scared as I walked out of the dojo towards Raph's room. If there was something weird going on, I wasn't sure if I wanted to know what it was. I mean, I like things the way they are, and I have a right to. We've been doing things the same way since we were born...mutated, whatever, and I'll admit that I didn't want them to change. Thinking about it made me sad, but I didn't have to dwell on it for long because before I knew it I was standing in front of Raph's door.

I still had no idea what I was gonna say to him, so I just took a deep breath and opened the door. Raph was propped up against the wall in a corner; at first I thought he was dead or something and I almost called for Splinter, but then I saw him staring at me. His green eyes looked like they were glowing in the dark.

I shut the door behind me and walked over to the one little table where Raph's only lamp was sitting. I turned it up so the room wasn't so dark and looked back over at him, running over some stupid sounding lines in my head. I ended up forgetting them though, 'cause I nearly choked when I looked at him more closely.

Now, I'm no doctor, and I'm definitely not a drug user, but I'm almost one-hundred percent sure that an apparently used syringe and a thin rubber hose, it looked like one of those medical tubes, lying beside someone who looked as out of it as Raph was probably a very bad sign. I was completely floored; sure, I had expected something strange and different, but not this. I almost started crying.

"Raph...what're you-"

"Don' start with me, Mikey." I backed up a bit when he struggled to his feet and exhaled loudly. I guess he saw me glance at the door, 'cause he jumped over to it and locked it, which is when I really started to get scared. "I don' need ta hear your griping."

"Raph! You're- You're doing-" All of a sudden, he popped up in front of me and grabbed my wrists, slamming my back against the wall (again). I just shut my eyes and waited for him to talk, kind of wondering if I really liked this guy as much as I thought I did.

"I never wanted ta hurt you Mikey..." His voice was a lot quieter than I thought it would be, but he didn't loosen his grip on my wrists. I could feel his breath against my neck, almost as hot as my face felt. Really, blushing in a situation like that? "None of us wanted to hurt ya, but-"

"None of you? Are Donnie and Leo on drugs too?" I started freaking out a little, but Raph shook his head.

"They're not, but... Things have changed around here." Great. Just what I didn't want. "We're not lil' kids anymore. We all have secrets..." Raph tried to take a deep breath, but it was kind of shaky and rushed, and it tickled my throat. I swallowed, but my mouth was all dry a sticky feeling. Thankfully, he let go of my wrists a second later, but his hands started drifting around to...awkward places. I grabbed his arms and forced them back to his sides.

"I don't know what secrets you're talking about, and I don't think I wanna know, but you can't keep doing this, Raphael." I used his full name for some reason; I think it made him mad, 'cause he growled and yanked me away from the wall before sweeping my feet out from under me. I couldn't do anything till I propped myself up on my elbows and stared at him grinning and straddling my hips.

"I heard ya say when you were talkin' to Don that you wouldn't do anything with him or Leo...but ya would fuck me." I flinched at the bad word and the look on his face; Raph was usually pretty mean, but this just wasn't like him. But I hadn't been lying to Donnie, so I couldn't lie to Raph.

"I- What meant was-" I bit my lip, trying to think of the right words. "I... Yes, I said that...but not like this, Raph." I used my legs to push him off of me and sprinted to the door. "I'm gonna tell Splinter about this; you haveta get clean Raph, you can't be like this."

I expected Raphael to yell or hit me or something, but he just sat there grinning like an idiot.

"Don't ya wanna know what's wrong with Leo and Donnie? Aren't you curious how ya got in on this in the first place?" My hand was on the doorknob when I stopped and looked back at him.

"Fine... I'm listening." Raph's grin got a little wider.

"What you walked in on the other day wasn't just us unwinding after a tough practice. I have other stuff to take care of that." I frowned, but he ignored me. "That was Leo getting his fix. He's addicted to sex, just like I'm hooked on drugs and Donnie's addicted to internet porn. You're the only one of us that isn't totally fucked up, and I like that about you. I like it a lot."

My jaw was on the floor at this point. It couldn't be true...

"I don't- I don't believe you! I- I can't! You won't have me, Raph, so don't even think about it. Not until you fix yourself!"

I threw the door open and ran out, ignoring Leo, who tried to ask what was wrong. My headache was worse now, and I really just wanted to sleep... I didn't stop running till I was locked in my room.

I didn't care what Raph thought or wanted; I didn't even care what I wanted. My brothers needed help, and I was the only one that could do anything. I had a lot of decisions to make, especially if I should tell Splinter or not. I knew he'd be able to do something, but...would my brothers ever forgive me if I told him?

But Raph admitted that he liked me. So at least I had something to work towards; if he got clean and everything worked out, then maybe we could be together... I smiled a little at the thought.

I almost fell asleep with that smile on my face, but I jerked awake when I heard a knock on my door.

"Hey, Mikey... Can I talk to you for a minute?" It was Leo's voice.

Great. Just great.

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**Woot. Umm... I don't remember what I was gonna say down here...**

**Anyway, thanks for all the reviews and favorites and whatnot guys! You're awesome~ *hugs you random people* Have fun with the darkness!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Not much to say up here... o3o This chapter is a little shorter than usual, sorry**.

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Chapter Six

I'll admit the first thing that popped into my head was to just shout at Leo to go away. I didn't want to talk to him, or any of my family for that matter; they had completely flipped my life around and beat it to a pulp with a medieval mace in the span of a week. Needless to say, I wasn't very happy about it. But he's still my brother, no matter how screwed up he is, so I told him to come in.

"Mikey, the door's locked." Oops. Forgot about that.

I sighed and got up really slowly. The last thing I wanted to do was upset my own brother, but the last thing I wanted- Wait. Never mind.

Anyway, I unlocked the door and he stood outside until I motioned for him to sit down. He seemed a little awkward, so I smiled at him and flopped down on my bed, sort of praying he wasn't gonna rape me or anything. Apparently me being not screwed up was attractive to Raph, so I hoped Leo wasn't here for something other than friendly conversation.

"Umm... I don't know what you and Raph were talking about, but...can I assume you know about his problem?" I nodded once, and he started to look a little sick. "What about-"

"You and Don? Yes. Yes I do."

If I didn't know he was sleepin' around with god knows who, he would have looked kinda cute, sitting there staring at the ground, blushing. I guess he felt bad about what he was doing, which threw me off a little bit; Raph definitely didn't seem sorry, so I figured Don and Leo wouldn't be either.

"Well... I..." He scratched the back of his head and glanced around the room like he was looking for something to say. "It's so hard to describe...but...I just can't do this anymore. I can't pull myself away from it, I can't say no... I'm supposed to be self-reliant, a leader...the Fearless Leader, and I'm terrified that I'll never be able to get away. I'm tired all the time, I feel sick..." He stopped to take a breath, but kept avoiding looking at me. "I feel...dirty. Defiled, disgusting...I can't go on like this." My breath caught in my throat when he finally looked up at me. His eyes were completely dead, hopeless and exhausted. I could see the contemplations going on behind those eyes; I wasn't clueless. Leo was at rock bottom, and needed a way out. He was waging a war inside himself, and apparently he was losing really badly. He tilted his head to the ground again, his neck stiff with restrained feelings.

"I hate to ask for this, Mikey, but since you're the only one of us who's...normal-ish now, do you think...you could...help us?"

My heart melted a little when he looked up at me again. There was so much emotion in his eyes this time, I could tell he really wanted to change. I wasn't so sure about Raph and Donnie though.

"I'd really like to help you, Leo...but I'm pretty sure Raph is perfectly happy the way he is, and I don't know anything about Don. Plus I have no idea what I'm supposed to do other than to tell Splinter."

Leo's eyes started to look panicky when I said that; apparently telling Splinter was a bad plan after all. He stood up, and I really examined him for the first time in ages. It was kind of obvious, what he has been doing; his skin was usually a really nice green, but it was chaffed in...certain places until it was brown and looked kind of scabby and gross. It wasn't noticeable unless you looked really closely though. His eyes were also bloodshot and dull, and there were bruises around his wrists and ankles. I didn't ask about those.

"I don't know Mikey... I don't know about anything anymore. I'm sure we'll think of something." He turned to face the door. "I just want to not...be reliant on this anymore. I want my life back." He glanced back over his shoulder at me, and he looked so tired and sick. It was really pitiful.

"I want our life back."

I just couldn't stand it anymore after that. I jumped off my bed and gave Leo a big bear hug, trying my best to put all my sympathy and desire to help in that one action. He just stood there awkwardly for the most part, but one of his hands did trail up my arm. I shivered a little.

"I don't care what we have to do. I'll help any way I can, and that starts with you staying with me from now on!" I backed away from him and shook my finger in his face. He looked pretty dumbstruck. "No more galavanting around!" (I've always wanted to use that word.) "I'll keep you abstinent."

Leo rolled his eyes, but smiled.

"That shouldn't be a problem around you, little brother. Dork."

I smiled and slapped him hard on the shoulder when I saw a suspicious glint jump into his eyes. Oh no, absolutely not. No way was I gonna indulge Leonardo's addiction.

"Huh-uh, big bro. Don't even think about it." I smiled up at him and opened the door, feeling a lot better about the whole situation now that I had someone else on my side.

"C'mon, we have work to do. We've got a Nerdy McSmartyPants to unplug." I rubbed my hands together and walked out the door towards Donnie's room, dragging Leo behind me.

It was time for some good old Mikey style family-fun time; no electronics no drugs and absolutely no sex! I mean, it can't be that hard to break addictions...right?

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**Oh Mikey... So naïve... **

**I really am just pulling this stuff outta my ass. **

**Thanks for all the reviews and whatnot! You guys are still awesome. **


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry this took so long guys! I've been a little burnt out on writing recently... Hope you all like this chapter~

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Chapter Seven

Donnie's door was locked and he wouldn't come to the door, even when Leo used his leader voice, so we ended up having to pull Raph into it. He has a knack for getting into locked rooms; he usually kicks the door down, but since Don was on the other side we decided just picking the lock would work fine. Raph seemed a little reluctant though, so it took Leo awhile to...convince him. (I would've helped, but I kinda wanted to stay away from Raph for a bit...an hour or so. Or maybe a couple minutes...or- Anyway!)

It's a good thing we're ninjas, 'cause Don would have killed us if he knew we were there. I don't wanna talk about what we caught him doing, but let's just say that I'm probably gonna be haunted by it for the rest of my life... Leo went and ruined our secrecy though by slamming Donnie's laptop shut and throwing the poor guy over his shoulder. Needless to say, Don was pretty mortified. Raph thought it was funny, but I felt kinda bad for him. I would hate being embarrassed like that.

We all walked out to the living room (except for Don, 'cause he was carried), and sat down (except for Don again, 'cause he got chucked on his head). No one said anything for a few seconds while Don got situated, which was kind of awkward... I ended up talking first.

"Okay guys... So...I guess we all know why we're here..." I flinched when Raph raised his hand. He didn't hit me though.

"Little Miss Mikey, I don't know why we're here." I scowled at him; I'd like to think I was pretty scary. He just sneered like he always does when he insults me.

"We're here because all of you are...all of you have something that you should be ashamed of-"

"I'm not ashamed."

"Raph, shut up!" I looked around at my brothers. "All of you need to get over this crap! I can't...now that I know this stuff is happening, I can't just let it keep going on! I don't want you guys to end up...dead or anything..."

Raph rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

"Dead? Mikey, that's ridiculous-"

"It is not! If you all are so caught up in this that you can't focus on your training, you all are gonna get slaughtered! And I don't wanna have anything to do with it!" I was standing up all of a sudden, and sort of shouting; I'm surprised Splinter didn't come to see what was going on. It took a second for me to calm down enough to sit and keep my voice lower. "C'mon guys...don't you want some help?"

Raph yawned and Leo squirmed around awkwardly, apparently embarrassed about his chaffed skin. It was pretty obvious how they both felt about the situation, so we looked over to Donnie, who just stared at the ground.

"I... I want help, I guess..." He looked up shyly, blushing a little, and rubbed the back of his neck. I don't think he noticed the way Leo was staring at him and smirking; it almost seemed like our leader was a cat stalking it's prey. I made a mental note to tell Don to steer clear of him. "But...I don't know, I don't like talking about it-"

"It's okay Donnie, we're your brothers! We'll support you no matter what." I smiled (hopefully) encouragingly, and went to sit beside Don. He twitched slightly when I hugged him, like he wasn't used to human contact, but otherwise he just kept staring straight ahead. I waved a hand in front if his face.

"Yo, earth to Don! You were saying...?"

He looked over at me like he'd never seen me before in his life, but did keep talking.

"I'm...tired. I'm not as strong as I used to be, I'm slower- I guess..." He swallowed and sighed, like he was having trouble saying what was on his mind. "I guess I could probably use some time away from the computer..."

I jumped up and punched in the air. I'll admit it was a bit of an over-reaction, but hey; I got a confession!

"Lookie here! Brother Donatello has agreed to rehab!"

"Wait! I- What?" Don looked a little panicked, so I hugged him again. I had a real plan, finally.

"It's alright big bro, Leo is gonna take good care of you!"

"I am?"

"He is?"

"Of course! You are brothers, right?" They both nodded slowly, but they were still staring at me like I was insane. Well, maybe I was a little crazy; I had just decided to take care of a bunch of addicts, after all. "Alright then, it's settled. Leo, take Donnie somewhere nice, and make sure there are no electronics! Have a nice long talk about your feelings and stuff."

Leo grinned and all but leapt to his feet, slinging an arm around Don's shoulders as they walked away from me and Raph. I realized too late what I had just done; oh well, they'd be okay. Hopefully.

Raph stood up and yawned again, stretching to the ceiling as he watched me lazily.

"Whelp, I think I'm gonna go catch some Zs. See ya later bro." He turned to walk back to his room, but I grabbed the top of his shell. I guess I was feeling kinda bold.

"Oh no ya don't. You're comin' with me, big boy." I regretted that sentence almost immediately, as Raph swung around and caught my chin between his thumb and first finger. I gulped; his gaze could only be described as predatory.

"Ya know Mikey..." I tried to back away from him, but his free hand was slung around my back. "I don't take well to bein' ordered around." He grabbed my arm and pulled me around till his chest was against my shell. His fingers slid up my arm all the way to my throat; I could feel his unusually hot breath on my shoulder. I tensed up against his touches, mentally slapping myself for making the decision to take care of him by myself.

"Aww, calm down baby brother. I'm not gonna do anything to ya." His voice was a low purr. "Just keep in mind; I'll let ya try to 'fix' me, but there will be somethin' in it for me." I stumbled when he pushed me away and flopped back on the couch. He spread his arms wide, as if inviting me for a hug (though I'm sure that's not what he was up to). "Go on, start tryin'!"

Well, if I was a little nervous before, I was freaking the shell out now.

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Mikey is a little scatterbrained... Seems like Leo and Raph have some ulterior motives. Let's all hope they're sweet and innocent! (Not.)

Anyway thanks to everyone who has followed, favorited and reviewed so far, and pleasepleaseplease keep it coming! I lurvels you gais~


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry this took so long guys! I had some major writer's block and had to rewrite it like four times. But it's done, and longer than usual. Yay!**

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Chapter Eight

Sometimes I really hate my life. Like...when I think about it, I feel like I probably shouldn't have agreed to help with any of this crap; I should have just told Splinter. I shouldn't have let Donnie and Leo go off on their own, and I definitely shouldn't have followed Raph when he told me too. I just can't say no to him for some reason...

Anyway, I did follow him ('cause sitting around in silence was getting really awkward), but I was vigilant and stuff, like a ninja should be...at least, until he looked back at me with that 'I'm sexy and I know it' look. My brain got a little scrambled at that point, especially when he slowed down a bit and put his arm around my shoulders.

"I wanna show you somethin', alright?" His voice was a lot gentler than usual; it was really nice to hear him like that. I just nodded and let him lead me around, 'cause I was kinda distracted... I'm not gonna lie, he looked pretty hot.

"You're awful quiet, Mikey. Unusual for you." I shrugged and just kept staring up at him. He laughed quietly. "And ya keep lookin' at me like that... It makes me wanna kiss ya again." In a flash, he had me almost horizontal to the ground; I threw my arms around his neck to keep from falling over as he touched his forehead to mine. It was all very romantic, but I ruined it by saying:

"I'm gonna assume that's just the drugs talking."

Raph snorted and returned me to my feet, but not before stealing a quick kiss. I gagged and pulled away, but I could tell he knew I liked it. As much as I didn't want to, I knew I'd have to really start thinking things over soon... I knew I was supposed to hate his drug problem, but if it was just the drugs that were making him like me...they couldn't be that bad. He had survived being mutated, after all, and drugs had to affect mutants differently than humans. But I couldn't just let it slide, not after making such a fuss about it. Oh well; I'd decide what to do later.

We walked around for a long time, probably hours, talking and stuff. The little beams of light that came down through the drains and stuff during the day were gone by the time Raph stopped under a particular manhole.

"Don't get lost."

Apparently drugs don't affect Raph's coordination or anything, 'cause he was just as fast as usual when he pulled back the manhole cover and jumped out into the street. It wasn't completely dark yet, but we were in a back alley and there weren't any humans around. Before I could get my bearings though, he climbed up a fire escape and onto the roof of the nearest building.

"Stay low, there might still be people around." He took off across the tops of the buildings, looking a lot like an overgrown frog (don't tell him I said that). I got distracted again after a couple minutes; we didn't get to see the city in daylight very often, and it was beautiful at that hour. The golden orange sunbeams all around kinda made it seem like I was taking a bath in the sun, or I had orange glasses on or something. It was super warm too, and really nice. There were clouds on the horizon though, and I could smell the smallest hint of rain aways off.

Eventually, Raph stopped on a particularly tall building and sat on the edge, letting his feet dangle out in space. The street lights were starting to come on below us as I sat down beside him and leaned on his shoulder. We stayed that way for a few minutes, and probably would have for longer, if a huge thunderclap hadn't sounded near us. I nearly fell off the roof, and even Raph jumped a little.

Sniffing the air as he slid off the edge of the roof, Raph seemed to stiffen up a little bit. I frowned a little and followed him.

"What's the matt-"

"Shush! We're not alone." Another deafening thunderclap came from the skies above us, this time accompanied by lightning that made the world around us glow creepily. We both began to retreat to the center of the roof; the back of my neck started prickling, and I knew Raph was right. To make matters worse, it started to rain steadily, and the moon was covered up by thick clouds. How the evening had gone from warm and sunny to raining like that, I'll never know.

Raph pulled out his sais as another flash of lightning finally revealed our enemies. Black-clothed ninjas were creeping their way towards us; they looked like the Foot, but I wasn't quite sure. Either way, we were apparently in for a fight, so I crouched beside Raph and grabbed my kusarigama. I'll be honest, I didn't really want those guys anywhere near me. I was getting some seriously evil vibes from them.

I could feel the tension as we all waited for the next flash of lightning to attack. I counted the seconds; I had barely hit four when the ninjas around us all sprang at once in time with the lightning.

I've had a lot of hard fights in my time, but this was awful. These guys seemed a little too good to be the Foot, and we could barely see what the heck was going on 'cause of the rain. Within ten minutes Raph and I both were about to drop; the weird ninjas just kept coming and coming, no matter how many we cut down. I started blacking out a bit at one point, but a sharp pain on my right leg jerked me out of it. We usually don't get seriously injured; I can only remember a few times when I've really bled during a fight, and this was one of them.

It seemed like we had been fighting for hours when I heard Raph scream my name from somewhere behind me. I spun as fast as I could and just barely managed to catch a katana on the chain of my nunchaku, but I knew couldn't hold that guy off and fight the others that were running at my back.

"Mikey! Don't just-" Raph's angry words were cut off suddenly as he jumped behind me. I was a little concerned, 'cause he usually never stops in the middle of am insult, but I had problems of my own at the moment. When his usual yells didn't start up again though, I started to get a little worried.

"Raph? Raph! Talk to me bro!" No response. I freaked a bit, I'll admit, and turned to look for him. I think I almost fainted when I finally found him, only a few feet behind me lying in a pool of blood. My vision started to tunnel around me and I think I screamed, 'cause my throat hurt really badly afterwards.

I don't remember anything else after that other than standing over Raph and fighting for both our lives. The blade had been broken off my kusarigama and chucked off the roof somehow, but I had managed to finish the fight without getting killed. I wasn't so sure about Raph though; when I finally came out of my trance thing, I was on all fours beside him.

"Raphael...? Raph! C'mon man..." There was a lot of blood coming from somewhere...I couldn't tell where though. His mask had been ripped off, and there was a curved, nasty looking gash going all the way from his temple to his jaw. My vision was blurry, though I didn't know if it was from the rain or if I was crying. Probably a little of both.

My hands were shaking when I checked his pulse; his breathing was fast and shallow, but his heartbeat seemed pretty okay, I guess. I'm not a doctor.

"I've gotta get you back to the lair... Please say something Raph...what hurts? Where did they get you?" No answer, of course. My poor big brother was out cold, and he wasn't getting any better. I started to panic inside again thinking about dragging him all the way back to the lair.

I probably only sat there for a few minutes, but it seemed like ages as I stared down at Raphael. The rain had washed the blood away by this point, but a small trickle was still oozing from somewhere on his side. A few drops of rain dripped from my face onto his as I leaned over and kissed him; I know it's totally weird and gross, but I couldn't stand the thought of not feeling that one more time if he didn't...well, you get the point.

I was about to start carrying Raph back home somehow when it finally hit me; I had a friggin' phone. I nearly started crying with relief, I swear. I probably would have died if Raph had, well, died while I was still hauling him home. It took me a second to dial Leo's number, 'cause my hands were still shaking all over the place.

"Hello?" I sighed and let my shoulders sag a little when I heard Leo's voice.

"Leo, you haveta...you have to come get us. Me and Raph were attacked out of nowhere by these crazy guys and he's unconscious and I don't know what to do and what if he dies and-"

"Mikey! No one is gonna die, you'll be fine, I promise. Just calm down, okay? Take some deep breaths." Thank god Leo was pretty collected at times like this. I could hear him rushing around though, hopefully getting ready to come get us. "Tell me where you are, then focus on Raph. Try to wake him up." I nodded before I remembered he wasn't there to see it.

"Yeah...yeah, thanks Leo." I crawled to the edge of the roof and told him where we were, then hunched back over Raph, trying to protect my phone from the rain. Donnie probably wouldn't have liked it if the thing got broken.

"We'll be there as fast as we can. Take some time to...decide what you're gonna say to Splinter."

I felt sick all of a sudden as Leo hung up. I hadn't been thinking about Splinter at all...obviously. Oh well, Raph was more important right now, so I turned my attention back to him. He still hadn't moved, so I just pulled his head into my lap and started praying the rain would stop, and that he would be okay.

I refused to have this - whatever it was - taken away from me before I could enjoy it. Nothing was gonna take my brother away from me, not if I could help it.

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**There, my pathetic attempt action. I might write this chapter in third person as a oneshot to actually have some more...real action. It's hard to do action in first person, at least, for me. **

**Like I said, I had to rewrite this like four times... It was originally gonna be all sweet and romantic, but I decided I wanted some angst. And I know it's kinda clichè... I couldn't help it. C:**

**Please follow, favorite and review, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!**


	9. Frowny Face

Sorry for anyone still following this, but I've totally hit a road block. Chapter nine is refusing to be written, so (until further notice) I'm gonna call this complete and stop worrying about it. I'm doing a little cleaning up of my account, so this was inevitable...

If you want updates on this or any more of my stories, you can follow my (brand new) Tumblr; my URL is http**:/**hallowednight.**tumblr.**com/ . (Just delete the ** or use the normal Tumblr URL thingy to find blogs.)

I'm really sorry guys...hopefully my brain will get better soon.


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